CHRISTMAS OFFER Subscribe to Cotswold Life today CLICK HERE

Editor’s Comment Christmas 2015

09:34 05 November 2015

Yabba Dabba Doo and a Merry Christmas to you!

Yabba Dabba Doo and a Merry Christmas to you!


Editor Mike Lowe discusses the festive antics of the annual office Christmas party.

While I am the master of most functions on this magazine, I do not directly design the pages – that is the job of a very nice chap in Norwich. This means that I have no idea what picture might adorn these words although, given that this is our Christmas issue, I suspect it will be one of a grumpy old bugger in a Santa hat.

Now I am not anti-Christmas per se, but it’s just that after several decades on this planet, certain aspects of the celebrations begin to grate a bit. My colleague Adam Edwards eloquently details many of these a few pages further on, but please allow me to give a good thrashing to my personal bugbear – The Office Party.

[For legal reasons – and for the purposes of maintaining a harmonious office environment - Cotswold Life employees should note that none of the following applies to them.]

The Office Party is an annual ordeal at which people who don’t particularly like each other and who resent every minute they have to spend in each other’s company are subjected to an afternoon or evening of enforced jollity and suspect fruit punch. In a previous working life, on a newspaper far from these parts, this Noel nightmare was funded by a penny-pinching management to the magnificent tune of £5 a head, which meant that we were condemned to gather at a soulless city centre hotel where we were served cardboard turkey, yesterday’s warmed-up sprouts, bullet-like cocktail sausages and gravy of a puzzling origin.

Did I mention that it was fancy dress? I had argued long and hard against the notion in the management meeting, but was outvoted by the advertising department and a circulation director who was notorious for dressing up as a woman at any given opportunity. At home, most evenings, by all accounts.

And what is it with the Scots? Give them an invitation to the Christmas do and at the drop of a Tam O’Shanter they’re in the full kilt ensemble, complete with a dinky little dagger down their sock.

To be fair, it’s not all of them. The fiercest Glaswegian sub-editor I ever knew wouldn’t have dreamt of doing the Full Jock. It’s more often the so-called Shortbread Scots of second or third generation, most of whom have never been further north than Newcastle, who embrace this tartan tomfoolery with zeal.

Which brings us to a young trainee journalist whose father was a London lawyer and whose mother came from a moneyed family of Borders cattle rustlers. We will call him Brian, for that was his name. Brian seemed to have got it into his head that he was Scottish, except when England played rugby or football, when he mysteriously reverted to being the ex-Durham University stoodent that we all knew he was. He certainly couldn’t drink like a proper Scot and had clearly overdone the suspect fruit punch.

Once the disco was under way, Brian the Shock Jock, performed his party piece, as they all inevitably do once they’ve got a skirt on. He whirled into the musical melee, lifted his kilt at an unimpressed secretary and projectile vomited across the crowd. And that’s when the fight started.

Later, after the managing director had disappeared in a taxi with two tele-ad girls (it was always interesting to see who got a promotion and pay rise on the post-Christmas return to work) I decanted a comatose Brian into my own cab and sent him home. Which meant that I had to walk three miles across town to the office to sleep under my desk. In the rain. Dressed as Fred Flintstone.

Yabba Dabba Doo and a Merry Christmas to you!
Follow Mike on Twitter: @cotslifeeditor


Welcome , please leave your message below.

Optional - JPG files only
Optional - MP3 files only
Optional - 3GP, AVI, MOV, MPG or WMV files

Please log in to leave a comment and share your views with other Cotswold Life visitors.

We enable people to post comments with the aim of encouraging open debate.

Only people who register and sign up to our terms and conditions can post comments. These terms and conditions explain our house rules and legal guidelines.

Comments are not edited by Cotswold Life staff prior to publication but may be automatically filtered.

If you have a complaint about a comment please contact us by clicking on the Report This Comment button next to the comment.

Not a member yet?

Register to create your own unique Cotswold Life account for free.

Signing up is free, quick and easy and offers you the chance to add comments, personalise the site with local information picked just for you, and more.

Sign up now

More from Out & about

Mon, 14:01

With a fantastic line-up, breathtaking BMX antics and plenty of family friendly events, Lakefest 2016 was a hit for Pamela Hudson and family

Read more
Mon, 13:45

We spoke with Richard Smith from Classic Lodges, who manages Charingworth Manor in the Cotswolds, to find out what sort of things you should look for when choosing a wedding venue.

Read more
Sunday, October 9, 2016

It’s that wonderful time of year again when we warm ourselves by roaring bonfires and enjoy dazzling firework displays that light up the skies. Gather your loved ones, wrap up warm and enjoy an evening of Guy Fawkes celebrations in the Cotswolds

Read more
Friday, September 30, 2016

Being a region so steeped in history, there are plenty of locations in the Cotswolds with spooky stories from over the years. From bloody executions, eerie apparitions and headless horsemen, and with Halloween just around the corner, we pick 23 of the most haunted locations throughout the Cotswolds to visit if you dare

Read more
Friday, September 30, 2016

Want a quick break from the Cotswolds, without spending half a day on the motorway or wedged into a seat on a cattle-class flight? A quick jaunt down the M5 and you too could be jumping the waves on a Devon beach

Read more
Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Candia McKormack experiences the extreme highs and lows of an astonishing comedy with a dark – but warm – heart at Cheltenham’s Everyman Theatre

Read more
Thursday, September 22, 2016

Filter or no filter, these locations are picture-perfect!

Read more
Thursday, September 22, 2016

The Cotswolds is a county of beauty: with mesmerising views of the scenery, beautiful landmarks to discover and rolling green countryside to explore, it’s the perfect place to enjoy a walk. We pick 8 walks for you to try and have found the nearby pubs to prepare for your ramble or reward yourself when you finish!

Read more
Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Nestled in the valley between Broadway and Cheltenham, the charming town of Winchcombe is famous for its Cotswold stone cottages, narrow side streets and delightful independent shops. Take a look at our guide to help you make the most of your visit to this historic town that’s bursting with character.

Read more
Tuesday, September 20, 2016

The Schumann Project features nearly 100 events, including some 40 song recitals, piano and chamber music recitals, choral works, study events, films, readings and masterclasses World class artists and emerging stars take to the stage in 21 venues all over the city, with all of Robert Schumann’s and Clara Schumann’s songs to be performed over sixteen days

Read more
Monday, September 5, 2016

Lynne Ede visits the Gloucestershire town of Newent ahead of its annual extravaganza

Read more
Friday, August 26, 2016

Lavender has proved an unexpected tourist attraction for one Cotswold farmer

Read more
Tuesday, August 23, 2016

In celebration of the 50th anniversary of the Cotswolds as an Area Of Outstanding Beauty, there’s plenty going on to fill the end of the school holidays with fun and activities

Read more
Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Gloucestershire’s Charlotte Dujardin retains her Olympic title, whilst posting a new Olympic record with her dancing partner Valegro at Rio 2016

Read more

Newsletter Sign Up

Sign up to the following newsletters:

Subscribe or buy a mag today

subscription ad
Cotswold Life Application Link

Local Business Directory

Cotswold's trusted business finder

Job search in your local area

Search For a Car In Your Area

Property Search