CHRISTMAS OFFER Subscribe to Cotswold Life today CLICK HERE

Dom Joly: Seeing red trousers

PUBLISHED: 12:09 12 May 2014 | UPDATED: 12:24 12 May 2014

In London red trousers are almost invariably the preserve of the hipster, who tend to favour trousers that cling to their skinny legs, often topped with a hideously ironic tank top

In London red trousers are almost invariably the preserve of the hipster, who tend to favour trousers that cling to their skinny legs, often topped with a hideously ironic tank top

Archant

In London red trousers are almost invariably the preserve of the hipster, who tend to favour trousers that cling to their skinny legs, often topped with a hideously ironic tank top. Dom Joly experienced his own red-trouser-moment a little closer to home.

So I was standing on the railway platform at Gloucester, minding my own business when I spotted a ‘youth’ on the other side of the tracks staring at me. Having had quite some experience in being ‘spotted’ in public by the public over the last 14 years or so, I could guess his intentions. This was a guy who had thought of something funny to shout at me but couldn’t quite pluck up the courage. I started to enjoy watching his struggle with nerves. Three times he worked himself up to release but then pulled out. Finally, as his train pulled in he issued a limp – “get a proper job Dom…” before the carriages shielded him from my reaction.

I’m not sure what he imagined my reaction to be? I’ve had a lot of stuff shouted at me in the street and this was very much on the lower end of the abuse scale. I get a lot of “HELLO” and “I’M IN THE STREET IT’S RUBBISH” but I also get my share of one-word invectives. The exhortations for me to get a ‘proper job’ therefore didn’t bother me in the slightest. In fact I was rather pleased, as my idea of hell is a ‘proper job’.

The only thing that did bother me was the fact that this ‘youth’ was sporting a pair of eye-wateringly bright, red trousers. I have a real issue with red trousers. I’m not sure why but they really annoy me and, come the revolution, they will be the first item of clothing (followed closely by the ‘gilet’ and those stupid Afghan caps) to be made illegal.

In London the reason for loathing red trousers is obvious. They are almost invariably the preserve of the hipster, an annoying ‘youth’ tribe who do very little but manage to look very smug about it. They tend to favour red trousers that cling to their skinny legs, often topped with a neatly pressed granddad shirt and a hideously ironic tank top. Hipsters are incredibly annoying but, in the case of the youth at Gloucester railway station, innocent of all charges in ‘properjobgate’. This is simply because no self-respecting hipster would have a proper job themselves and therefore would never think of hurling such abuse at me on a railway station platform. Also, no hipster would be seen dead at Gloucester railway station but that is by the by.

So this leads us to the second red-trouser wearing group – the ‘country set’. This group is more prone to baggy red trousers, sometimes cord and often with a tendency to bleed into vivid salmon or puce mustard hues. The younger percentage of this set has recently taken to a tighter style of red trouser in an attempt to look vaguely Twentieth Century. These are to be worn with brown brogues, a thick check shirt and a blue blazer of some description.

Although not an exact match to my protagonist at Gloucester station, he was close enough for me to assign him to this group. If I were to go further I would guess, by his accent and general demeanor that he was not in full-time employment himself. I would plump for a student of some form, but not the radical hipster type or the irate demo type. No, this was more a Cirencester – Agricultural College type – someone who very much believed that the world both owed him a living and should admire his bright red trousers while he roared around the countryside in an old Land Rover shouting at townies.

I could be completely wrong. The ‘youth’ in question might very well be a local councilor or a member of the Cheltenham Planning Committee – actually scratch that – to be a member of the planning committee, you have to be over 60, shop at C&A and you would be entirely incapable of reading a railway timetable.

My only other suspect would be the editor of this very magazine who has been spotted sporting a particularly lurid pair of ‘trouser reds’. Possibly he was already airing his displeasure at this column? There is the ‘youth’ problem however…

If the actual offender reads this – do get in touch.

-------------

This article by Dom Joly is from the May 2014 issue of Cotswold Life.

For more from Dom, follow him on Twitter: @domjoly

0 comments

Welcome , please leave your message below.

Optional - JPG files only
Optional - MP3 files only
Optional - 3GP, AVI, MOV, MPG or WMV files
Comments

Please log in to leave a comment and share your views with other Cotswold Life visitors.

We enable people to post comments with the aim of encouraging open debate.

Only people who register and sign up to our terms and conditions can post comments. These terms and conditions explain our house rules and legal guidelines.

Comments are not edited by Cotswold Life staff prior to publication but may be automatically filtered.

If you have a complaint about a comment please contact us by clicking on the Report This Comment button next to the comment.

Not a member yet?

Register to create your own unique Cotswold Life account for free.

Signing up is free, quick and easy and offers you the chance to add comments, personalise the site with local information picked just for you, and more.

Sign up now

More from Out & about

As well as three days of action-packed racing and tradition, there’s plenty to do away from the course at this year’s November Meeting. Neil Phillips, The Wine Tipster, shares his 14 suggestions on how to make the most of your time at Cheltenham Racecourse

Read more

The Warwickshire town of Alcester is considered one of the best understood Roman settlements in the country. Tracy Spiers digs below the surface to discover its hidden jewels

Read more

Thanks to the impact of ground-breaking comedy This Country, the quiet market town of Northleach has become one of the Cotswolds’ hottest film locations. Katie Jarvis is sent to investigate

Read more
Tuesday, November 6, 2018

Stephen Roberts walks in the footsteps of the Oxford scholar who enjoyed attending parties dressed as a polar bear, and once chased a neighbour while dressed as an axe-wielding Anglo-Saxon

Read more
Tuesday, November 6, 2018

I send this postcard from Cirencester, complete with the discoveries and viewpoints from four members of my family – both the young and not so young

Read more
Tuesday, November 6, 2018

If you’re looking for things to do in the Cotswolds this month, we have gathered plenty of events for you to pop in your diary

Read more
Tuesday, November 6, 2018

One hundred years ago this month the guns fell silent, marking the end of what was to become known as The Great War. Stephen Roberts remembers the impact the war had on Cotswold lives from 1914-1918

Read more
Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Being a region so steeped in history, there are plenty of locations in the Cotswolds with spooky stories from over the years. From bloody executions, eerie apparitions and headless horsemen, we pick 23 of the most haunted locations throughout the Cotswolds to visit if you dare

Read more
Tuesday, October 30, 2018

New bat cams installed at Woodchester Mansion help study protected breeds while also becoming an added attraction for visitors. Jo Barber looks at the work of one of the UK’s foremost bat experts and the mansion’s valued volunteers

Read more
Tuesday, October 30, 2018

From an all-boy, all boarding prep school for just 30 pupils, to the quietly trailblazing yet still traditional school it is today – here is a snapshot of Beaudesert over its 110-year history

Read more
Tuesday, October 23, 2018

Of all the castles in the region, none have seen as much war, romance and royalty as Sudeley over its dramatic 1,000-year history. And with such a colourful and eventful past, it is easy to see why some people believe there could be spirits from bygone eras which still wander the halls and corridors to this day

Read more
Tuesday, October 23, 2018

Following a record year for ‘visitor giving’ donations via local businesses, applications are invited to fund conservation projects

Read more
Monday, October 15, 2018

What started as a business ploy by one Cotswold firm has developed into an inspirational garden

Read more
Monday, October 8, 2018

If a bit of English eccentricity is your thing, spend an enjoyable afternoon exploring the delightful follies of Faringdon

Read more

Newsletter Sign Up

Sign up to the following newsletters:

Sign up to receive our regular email newsletter

Our Privacy Policy

Topics of Interest

Food and Drink Directory A+ Education

Subscribe or buy a mag today

subscription ad

Local Business Directory

Property Search